After months of following some of the wildest political news ever, you’re sitting around tonight waiting for the vote count.
It’s a good time to think back to some of the crazy twists and turns of the past few months.
Were you paying attention? Are you sure? There were a lot of, well, moments.
Do you remember using mnemonics — short, helpful memory aids — as a kid in school? For example, the acronym “HOMES” helped you answer that test question about the names of the five Great Lakes and “Every Good Boy Does Fine” the question about notes in a music scale.
You know what they say about history repeating itself. We need some shortcuts to ensure we don’t forget the bizarre political developments of 2016.
My take:
FemiNasty
You’ve heard the derogatory phrase “FemiNazi.” Let’s turn it around and make it positive, based on Trump’s now-famous “nasty woman” shot at Hillary.
Boo who?
Obama (Or was it O-boo-ma?) said “Don’t boo. Vote.
Every election from here on, take a “Boo-ballot” to the polls to make sure you vote against anyone you wanted to shout down in public.
Trumpy
A new word that will outlive The Donald. Think grumpy but meaner, a lot meaner.
Hillaried
Another new word. It can be used to describe unceasing, caustic, public ridicule.
She was certainly pilloried. Websters says it means to put in a stocks (“Lock her up. Lock her up.”) or harshly criticize.
Yes We Khan
No one should forget how the clumsy billionaire candidate stepped in it by starting a fight with proud, grieving Muslim parents Ghazala and Khizr Khan.
Trump got Khizr’ed, bigtime.
D’ondled
One for the Urban Dictionary. It means fondled by the Donald.
Gropin’ dope
The tape of Trump advocating sexual assault by telling Billy Bush to grab women by the “P..sy” needs a catchy title before it is placed in the Smithsonian, eh?
By the way, you know why Trump got away with it for so long? Small hands.
Melanial
Sorta like a millennial. It means: 1) A Gen X’er who marries a much older spouse for money and prestige. 2) Selfish, unable to have an original thought, prone to plagiarism.
Trumppence
This new word, similar to “tuppence,” will help us remember Trump’s running mate after they lose tonight.
What is it? A monetary unit created by Trump supporters out of distrust of banks and the government. For example, it costs two Trumppence to get into a rally, seven to punch a black protester in the jaw.
Donald and the Deplorables
We can’t forget those angry confederate-flag waving supporters.
I think Trump should try Heavy Metal or Punk Rock after he loses. He has the hair.
He’s been a hit onstage already.
Behind the paunchy, white, Boomer band members, Ivanka can sway provocatively. He’ll still draw thousands.
Go high, don’t go low
We would all be smart to remember Obama’s heartfelt advice in the wake of this hard-fought, bruising campaign.
In fact, this advice is perfect on a night like tonight. You can take it literally — especially if you’re heading out to a victory party.
The rest of you, well, the year 2020 seems in the distant future but really isn’t that far off.
Don’t just let yourself get too Trumpy. You see what good it did The Donald.
